Steamed Hams but it's Total Drama
(Chris Mclean comes to Tyler's house as he rings the bell. Tyler then opens the door to greet Chris) Chris: Well, Tyler, I made it- despite your directions. Tyler: Ah. Chris Mclean. Welcome. - I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon. Chris: Yeah. (Chris sits at the table while Tyler goes into his kitchen, only to see that his oven is steaming. He gasp and runs to the oven and sees that the ham he was cooking is burning on fire) Tyler: Oh, egads! My roast is ruined. (Tyler then sees a fast food restaurant out through his window) But what if I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? (Tyler gets an idea) Delightfully devilish, Tyler. (Tyler heads out through the window, only for him to stop when Chris came in and saw that he is about to go out through the window) Singers: "Tyler he's may seem like a jock, but he sucks really hard at sports and other things, When he hears Chris' lame exaggerations There'll be trouble in town tonight!" Chris: TYLER! Tyler: Chris, I was just- uh, just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise. Care to join me? Chris: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Tyler? Tyler: Uh- Oh. That isn't smoke. It's steam. Steam from the steamed clams we're having. Mmm. Steamed clams. (Chris leaves then Tyler is relieved that Chris is gone then he finally goes out through the window and heads off to the fast food restaurant. Then he comes back as he comes with the hamburgers and sets them on the table) Tyler: Chris Mclean, I hope you're ready for mouthwatering hamburgers. Chris: I thought we were having steamed clams. Tyler: D'oh, no. I said steamed hams. That's what I call hamburgers. Chris: You call hamburgers steamed hams? Tyler: Yes. It's a regional dialect. Chris: Uh-huh. Uh, what region? Tyler: Uh, upstate New York. Chris: Really. Well, I visited Utica before, and I've never heard anyone use the phrase "steamed hams." Tyler: Oh, not in Utica. No. It's an Albany expression. Chris: I see. (Chris takes a hamburger and takes a bite out of it) Chris: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at a fast food restaurant. Tyler: Oh, no. Patented burgers. Old family recipe. Chris: For steamed hams. Tyler: Yes. Chris: Yes. And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled. Tyler: Ye- You know, the- One thing I should- - Excuse me for one second. Chris: Of course. (Tyler comes to check his oven and comes out where it is shown behind the door that the oven has setted up a fire) Tyler: Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped. Chris: Yes. I should be- Good Lord! What is happening in there? Tyler: Aurora borealis. Chris: Uh- Aurora borealis at this time of year at this time of day in this part of the country localized entirely within your kitchen? Tyler: Yes. Chris: May I see it? Tyler: No. (Tyler and Chris walk out of the house) Lindsay: (off screen) Tyler! The house is on fire! Tyler: No, Lindsay. It's just the northern lights. Chris: Well, Tyler, you are an odd fellow but I must say you steam a good ham. (Chris walks away to get back to his home with the fire still burning Tyler's house) Lindsay: (off screen) Help! Help! (Chris turns around but to see Tyler lifting his thumb up that everything is ok. Then Chris continues to walk ahead) Category:Pages by DEEcat98/Dianecat98 Category:Total Drama Category:Steamed Hams